Consumer columnist and West Hartford resident Harlan Levy has more than 20 years of experience writing stories about everyday experiences that anyone could encounter.

By Harlan Levy

I’m a man (like most men) who only shops when I need something particular – a shirt, shoes, tennis balls, etc. – unlike my wife, who views it almost like an adventure, a fantasy come true.

Then, suddenly last May, my life and my shopping habits changed dramatically. With swimming season imminent, I decided I needed comfortable water shoes – for leaving our usual pool and walking across the parking lot. So I looked on Amazon, and in thinking about the easy returns, I kinda went crazy.

First I ordered four different types of water shoes. While waiting for them – and after a power outage – I ordered four different flashlights.

Then, sick of having to untie and take off my shoes in our house whenever I came home or entering a friend’s house and then tie them back on when I left, I shopped for brown slip-ons and loafers. I found four different styles and ordered them, two sizes each, 10½ and 11.

“How about a new cheap suit?” my wife asked, “suitable for a funeral.” [Hmmm. My own? Whatever. I laughed.] I found a sale, $365 black suits, from four different brands, $89.99 each. Perfect. So I ordered three.

On getting new glasses a month ago I ordered four different types of rubber eyeglass strap holders.

After I lost one of my soft silicone face-mask frames I bought four types of them.

Then I bought four hydrangea plants and ordered three 2-gallon watering cans.

And on and on.

Last week, it all stopped. My wife had texted me a Wall Street Journal article stating that Amazon may ban shoppers from its site for returning too many items.

Uh oh! Could my profligate, wild shopping habit end my wife’s account [because all my orders are on her account]??? This would be a disaster (and forever tarnish our relationship)!

First I checked Amazon’s policy statements about returns. It simply states that “items shipped from Amazon.com can be returned  within 30 days of delivery.” Also, “Only products that say they are eligible for free returns on the product detail page are eligible for free returns.” OK. I was safe there.

But Amazon does have some conditions, stating that it “reserves the right to refuse service, terminate accounts, terminate your rights to use Amazon Services … in its sole discretion.”

Now I’m not safe.

Also, Amazon doesn’t elaborate on a range of lesser punishments other than cancellation. Could it refuse any more returns from us for a time? or forever?

I then emailed Amazon’s media contact, saying I was a reporter seeking information about any activity which could trigger either termination or limits on a customer’s use of its site and what actions it can take. I’m still awaiting a reply.

Meanwhile, I tallied up all my returns – 35 from May 1. That’s a lot. So I called Amazon Customer Service and spoke with “Jerome.”. Amazon “doesn’t have any particular policy about banning customers,” he told me.

I then asked him to check my wife’s account to see if there were any red flags. He checked and told me no, everything was fine. “Really,” I thought … and asked him to check with his supervisor, telling her or him the account holder’s name (which he apparently knew) and ask about all our returns.

Jerome put me on hold for a while, then returned and said, “I’ve double-checked, and there’s no problem with your account.” What about me returning two eyeglass strap holders and a 2-gallon watering can I didn’t want? I asked him. “There’s nothing to worry about,” he said.

So on Thursday I returned and got refunds for the strap holders and the watering can. Amazon let me keep the can.

Still I intend to shop more wisely … and return less. So should you (and your children). Or else.

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