West Hartford area native Carly Schwartz returns home to share her powerful memoir.

By Melissa Cole

California-based author Carly Schwartz returned to her roots on Wednesday evening for a book talk and signing at West Hartford’s River Bend Bookshop, celebrating her new memoir, “I’ll Try Anything Twice: Misadventures of a Self-Medicated Life.”

Filling the room were her dad and stepmom, family friends who felt more like aunts and uncles growing up, and former classmates and teachers from her alma mater, Miss Porter’s School; all beaming with pride to see her doing so well and commending her for sharing her story so openly.

In the memoir, Schwartz doesn’t shy away from the darkest chapters of her life, writing about suicide attempts, addiction, and depression throughout early adulthood. Today, she’s 7+ years sober. She jokes as she reads an excerpt aloud from the book “spoiler alert: there is a happy ending.”

But it didn’t happen overnight. And it certainly wasn’t easy.

“I had what I called ‘addiction imposter syndrome’ because my addiction did not look like what it would be portrayed like in wider culture. I wasn’t hiding bottles under the sink. I wasn’t unhoused under a bridge with a needle in my arm. I was just partying to the point of not being able to function for weeks on end after. I was so depressed that my life had become effectively unmanageable.”

Growing up on the Bloomfield-West Hartford line, Schwartz reflects on her “pretty normal childhood,” attending public schools for elementary and middle school before becoming a day student at Miss Porter’s in Farmington. She went on to study journalism at Northwestern, and that’s when she recalls the depression starting to take hold. At the time, she couldn’t fully articulate how she was feeling, and problematic drinking started.

She left school twice for depression-related reasons but ultimately graduated and moved out west to San Francisco to start her career. There, she landed jobs with The San Francisco Examiner and HuffPost, and even embarked on a wild adventure to Latin America, living in a commune deep in the jungle of Panama. “As the book title says, I’ll try anything. I’ll move to the middle of the jungle.”

Schwartz hit rock bottom during that adventure. The drugs and alcohol were nonstop, and her depression became crippling. When she returned to San Francisco, she began searching for answers and trying different forms of treatment, anything that could offer some relief.

“I tried nine different medication regimens. I did transcranial stimulation, ketamine infusions, the gluten-free diet-which is the most absurd, given all the other stuff I was putting into my body.”

Ultimately, with encouragement from a friend and the support of her therapist, she checked herself into rehab, thinking it might be just another failed attempt to reclaim her life. Instead, it became the best decision she ever made. The days of staying in bed, unable to face the world, slowly faded into the past, and a sense of inner light and possibility emerged.

“Six months of getting out of bed before 8 a.m., sipping coffee on my roof – I was like, wow, maybe there is something to this sobriety thing. And it’s kind of been like that ever since.”

Getting her life back together also meant getting to do what she loves again: writing. In the words of her agent, “You don’t write what you want to write, you write what you need to write,” and so Schwartz knew this was the story she had to tell.

“I just feel like, knowing the pain I experienced, and then seeing what’s on the other side of that, if I can translate it into the creative medium I know best, and it reaches even a handful of people who have struggled like I have, then it’s totally worth it.”

“I’ll Try Anything Twice” has only been out for a month, and Schwartz is already seeing its impact. At a recent event in Los Angeles, an 18-year-old girl approached her to express gratitude. “She told me, ‘Thank you so much for writing this book. I want to give it to all of my friends. We talk about depression all the time.’ And I thought – wow. This is exactly why I’m doing it.”

Schwartz’s dad, Chuck, who was in the audience at the River Bend event, says sobriety has “made her a completely different person.” He recalls visiting her in California during her lowest moments.

“She couldn’t get out of bed. We’d go for walks, and she’d be steps behind me, looking like she was slogging through quicksand. It was just so heartbreaking – especially as her dad. So this turnaround has been amazing. I mean, she got her life back. It’s a blessing.” he says.

Schwartz’s next book is already on her mind and while she doesn’t have all the details sorted yet, part of the storyline will explore the local news industry.

“I’m really interested in making my future protagonists sober women, where sobriety is not the main story – where sobriety is just the detail of their lives. I think it’s really great when there’s a recovery memoir and when sobriety is the main event. But I think there needs to be more representation and a culture of women who are leading their lives in recovery and that’s not the only story.”

Schwartz’s definition of success has evolved over the years, and the past seven have given this author plenty of perspective.

“For me, success isn’t what your LinkedIn profile looks like. Success is waking up every morning wanting to be alive, looking forward to the day.”

“I’ll Try Anything Twice, Misadventures of a Self-Medicated Life” is available locally at River Bend Bookshop, which has just relocated its West Hartford shop to 224 Park Road. You can also find it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

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