Howard and Sheila Mark of West Hartford celebrate 75 years of marriage.

Howard Mark and Sheila Berger Mark are celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary on June 24, 2026. Courtesy photo

By Dr. Robin Santiago

On June 24, 2026, my parents – Howard Mark and Sheila Berger Mark of West Hartford – will celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. They are both 97 years old, still in the same house, and still holding hands.

Their story begins, as so many good things do, with a last-minute substitution and a quick pencil.

In November 1944, a fraternity dance brought the Ansonia chapter to Hartford with the allure of blind dates with Jewish Hartford girls. My mother’s proposed date withdrew sick. Her cousin Evie fielded the call and, not a woman easily defeated, put one Howard Mark in the slot opposite Sheila Berger.

Howie arrived early. When he rang the bell, he heard footsteps running down the stairs. The door flew open to reveal a girl in rollers and cold cream who screamed and slammed the door in his face. Her younger brother let him in and introduced him to my grandmother, Fanny. And Howie waited patiently while his date transformed herself into a beautiful swan. The car to the dance was packed, so my mother had to sit on his lap. Heaven, says my father. Every single time he tells it.

Howard Mark and Sheila Berger Mark on their wedding day, June 24, 1951. Courtesy photo

He pursued her constantly after that night. She finally said yes. Seventy-five years of yes.

I remember sitting at the dinner table around age 10. My parents were in the middle of a standoff – my mother giving my father the silent treatment for some misdeed long forgotten. She turned to one of us and said, with magnificent dignity, “Tell that man to pass the ketchup.”

We thought it was hilarious. We thought it was hilarious because we knew what would happen next. Shortly, Dad would sidle up to her in the kitchen, hugging her from behind while she was busy at the sink. And soon we would hear the giggles – the giggles that told us everything was right in our world.

Their fights were disagreements over actions, never about values, which they shared deeply. The fights ended. The values never wavered.

Howard Mark and Sheila Berger Mark on their wedding day, June 24, 1951. Courtesy photo

Howard Mark served as a Captain in the United States Army at Fort Lee, Virginia, then built a distinguished career as an oral and maxillofacial surgeon. He played a pivotal role in creating the residency program at the University of Connecticut School of Dental Medicine, was a founding member of the Connecticut Oral Health Initiative, and led more professional and civic organizations than any of us can count. My mother always said: your father never met a meeting he didn’t like.

Sheila Mark gave 25 years to the Jewish Community Center of Greater Hartford, where she served seniors with creativity and warmth, developing programs – including the beloved Travel Abroad series – that enriched the lives of hundreds of older adults throughout the region.

They taught us the value of volunteering, the reality behind the words “to whom much is given, much is expected,” and the non-negotiable responsibility of being a good citizen. They schlepped us – willing or not – to every family gathering, every simcha, every holiday table until we were old enough to realize how wonderful those gatherings truly were.

And they taught us love without conditions. I brought home a non-Jewish Puerto Rican – someone outside their vision of the right partner for me. They agreed he must be nice if I liked him. That man, who believed in me and embraced Judaism, is now my husband of 50 years. They couldn’t love him more if he were their own son. Grandma Fanny said: sometimes your children know better what’s right for them than you do.

Evie corrected the ledger 82 years ago, and every one of us is the beneficiary of that quick pencil. What she set in motion became a love story, a family, a legacy, and a lesson: that the best things in life are not the ones you plan but the ones you commit to, fully and forever, once they arrive.

Happy 75th anniversary, Mom and Dad. Thank you for showing us how it’s done.

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