Thoughts and ruminations about being a working mom, raising two daughters, and being Italian … while trying to maintain my sanity and organized closets. (My husband’s laugh, red wine, and ironing make me happy.)

By Adria Giordano

Being a mom during a pandemic. May 11, 2020

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” ~ Jill Churchill

Something I struggle with most days is HOW to be the perfect mother. I want my girls to know how much I love them, and sometimes I *think* that means planning the most elaborate birthdays and holidays, when in the end all they really want is to spend time together. Eating bagels, watching Gilmore Girls, playing a board game.

Or sometimes it just means hanging out on the couch. Not doing much of anything. Together.

During this crazy, upside down time, I have tried to be the kind of mom my girls deserve. Definitely far from the perfect mom I used to TRY and be. But the kind of mom who continues to laugh and clean and stay sane. The kind of mom who gets up, continues to make the bed, do laundry and plan dinners. The kind of mom who continues to keep life as “normal” as possible, with meal plans, and chores and some kind of schedule, even if it’s reminding the girls it’s a school night and lights out by 10. (okay 11).

My girls deserve at least this.

But these days it’s so hard to be that kind of mom. I found myself crawling into bed at 5 p.m. one night last week because I couldn’t take it anymore. I was sad, and tired, and just wanted to be alone. I was definitely not the kind of mom I was hoping I would be. But then again, maybe we put way too much pressure on ourselves.

Life is not perfect and I need to stop trying to achieve this unrealistic goal of being the “perfect mom,” whatever that is. I need to do a better job remembering this. Especially during this challenging time, when some of us are trying to just do our best.

At 16 and 14, my girls are growing up so fast and soon will be spreading their wings and leaving the nest. This nest I have so carefully planned and created, twig by twig, branch by branch. Since they were day they were born.

My youngest made me a beautiful necklace on Mother’s Day. My oldest treated me to an “in home” spa treatment. My husband planted our window boxes. Beautiful gifts, but the best gifts were just being with them.

I will try harder to be present, worry less and be okay with just being there for them, whatever that kind of mom is.

Sending hugs mamas. Here’s to being kinder to ourselves. Today and everyday. Happy Mother’s Day

Adria Giordano describes herself as a mom, wife, fundraiser, party planner, and blogger. She is a currently the director of development for Chrysalis Center in Hartford, CT. She lives in West Hartford with her husband, two teenage daughters, and mini goldendoodle puppy.